Pause: Time to Lead and Live with Love
Today was a long, busy day for me. No different than most other days. I like busy. I welcome busy. The busy I have chosen for myself is full of mindfully created experiences to serve in ways that offer value to my family and community. I embrace my busy. Yet even amidst this love for these experiences, I often crave experiences that I want just for myself. I own that completely.
I recognize the simultaneity that while I want to serve my needs, a significant portion of my time is spent making sure those around me have their needs met. Whether they are fed healthy food, can get rides where they need to be, get emotional support, can schedule an appointment in my office, get answers to business questions, receive my writing by deadline, or simply hear back from me about the workout they want to drop in on at my gym, I tend to prioritize those needs first. I’ve designed it that way because that feels best for me. I do that knowing I will also make time for my wellness.
After a bumper-to-bumper day, I had my free moment. Throwing on my workout clothes I knew I missed making it to Beacon, so I opted to hit a trail run instead. I was hustling out to make that happen before the mosquito brigade arrived when I saw my elderly neighbor walking his dog. He looked up and smiled a mostly-toothless smile. It was almost the evening after all, so perhaps he opted to leave his teeth home for his second walk of the day. I would. It’s his neighborhood, his home.
I started to pick up my pace, which isn’t much of a pick up from a walk frankly, but it feels like running to me. Over my shoulder I heard him say “Hi Carla!” I was going to keep running, but remembered that’s what he’s called me since we moved in next door. I have corrected him multiple times out of respect, but he has difficulty hearing, so I answered to Carla once I processed.
Thinking we would exchange pleasantries, I slowed and turned around awkwardly jogging backward, “Hi Will! Nice to see you.” Preparing to head into the woods, he commented on my garden nearby. I missed what he said and stopped to ask but he then couldn’t hear me because I was too far away. It was then I noticed how dismissive I was of the interaction. I was going to run come hell or high water when I walked out my door. And it struck me: What if I lead and live with love in this moment?
My day was full of loving interactions. Why is this person different? Because I want to run? That is not the humanity I want to convey. I want to model love and connection, patience and generosity. I seek in every interaction with my loved ones to lead and live with love; speaking gently and kindly never with anger, giving them the benefit of the doubt they are doing the best they can. I took that opportunity to put the trail run aside to be mindfully in the moment for connection. We are all made of the same stuff: hope and memories and stardust.
We are all made of the same stuff: hope and memories and stardust.
Will and I had a lovely little conversation about weeds, dogs, and turkeys. I’m smiling recalling it right now. My day would not have been as awesome without that connection. I still enjoyed a brief trail run to boot, even if the mosquito brigade made me run a bit faster than my typical trail plod. In my sweaty, post-run bliss, I committed to myself to prioritize connection in this time when connection can mean all the difference.
I seek to deepen my practice of seeking to lead and live with love. Let’s do it together, awesome ones. What could we create together if we all did?
*This article was originally posted on Medium on June 26, 2018.
